I hate the stairs

"Walking up stairs burns almost 5 times more calories than riding an elevator."

That's what the poster said in the stairwell at Health Sciences Centre, and I've never been more motivated to take the elevator after seeing that.

Now I'm no doctor, but I always assumed that riding the elevator consumed pretty much zero calories. I'm pretty good at math though, and I know that 5 times "pretty much zero" is still "pretty much zero." I'd also have to say that riding in the elevator probably burns as many calories as waiting in the hallway for the elevator.

Since I usually spend 4 or 5 times more time waiting in the hallway for the elevator than actually riding the elevator, I'm actually burning the same amount (or more) calories waiting & riding the elevator than I am by taking the stairs. So why the hell am I huffing and puffing up 8 flights of stairs? Either I'm the idiot for taking the stairs every day, or the writer of this poster is the same idiot that said "Petting your dog is 5 times better than rolling around in dogshit."